I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
