What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize