Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
i've created a new STD.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Randomize
