Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
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