you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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