Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
