Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
