What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
