Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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