Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
