if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
