Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
