i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
