I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
