i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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