Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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