Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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