I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
