I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Randomize