i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
