needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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