I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
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