I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
