he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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