You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
