I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
how does that bad decision feel?
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