She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
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