its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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