They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize