Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
