My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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