You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
