Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
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