we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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