I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
