Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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