5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
