Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize