And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
