The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
