In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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