that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
