I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
