Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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