yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
