Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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