don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
These tits shall not be calmed
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
