Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
