I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
