Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
