How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
