Well apparently he's into motor boating.
if only i could text you this smell
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Randomize
