After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
