No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
