think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I need a burrito and a hug.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
