can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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