why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
