he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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