I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
