I wanna bring you to show and tell
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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