If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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